33 Very “Motivational” Transportation Quotes!

Since the advent of Social Media people like “Motivational Quote” as it gives them quick boost of self-confidence which can be found in a few simple words of wisdom. In this holiday and festive season I thought I should post something which is motivational. Therefore, I decided to research on Transportation quotes.

I have start reading a book “The Funniest Thing You Never Said” by Rosemarie Jarski and found some very interesting transportation quotes which I would like to share with and hopefully put a smile on your face while you are enjoying Christmas dinner with your family today!

Transportation quotes

Need a quick dose of transportation quotes? Need a quick surge in motivation? You’ll definitely find it here…

  1. “Robinson’s Law: the guy you beat out of a prime parking space is the one you have to see for the job interview.”– Cal Robinson
  2. “The Slowest drivers in the world are the those people who are getting out of the parking space you want to get into.”– Miles Kington
  3. “Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anybody going fast than you is a maniac.”– George Carlin
  4. “Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on the windscreen, it said, ‘Parking Fine’.”– Tommy Cooper
  5. “Save money on expensive personalized car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate.”– STG 400H
  6. “When I get real bored, I to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.”– Steven Wright
  7. “The quickest way to make a red light turn green is to try to find something in the glove compartment” – Billy Connolly
  8. “Finding a parking space is like going to a prostitute: why pay for one when if you apply yourself you get it for free?” – George Costanza, Seinfeld
  9. “I was pulled over by a cop for running a stop sign. He said, ‘Didn’t you see the stop sign?’ I said, ‘Sure, but I don’t belive everything I read?’” – Steven Wright
  10. “I heard most accidents happen within five miles of home, so I’ve moved ten miles away.”—Jenny Abrams
  11. “Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to ‘fast wipe’ whenever you leave your car parked illegally.”—Top tip, Viz
  12. “A friend of mine was so fed up with the train delays and cancellations that he threw himself onto the track. Died of exposure”—Jack Dee
  13. “Wouldn’t it be nice if the wattage of a car stereo could not exceed the IQ of the driver”—Anon
  14. “A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you’re looking for a used car”—Jay Leno
  15. “The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before.”—G.K. Chesterton
  16. “I’ve call my car Flattery because it gets me nowhere.”—Henny Youngman
  17. “I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity.”- Steven Wright
  18. “What do I think of Volkswagens? I’ve been in bigger women”—Harry Kurnitz
  19. “My garage’s mottos seem to be, ‘If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.’”—Jerry Seinfeld
  20. “My wife came home and said she had some good news and some bad news about the car. I said, ‘What’s the good news? She said, ‘The airbag works.’—Roy Chubby Brown
  21. “Experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me feel any less frightened of flying. If anything, it make me more afraid of crossing the street.”—Ellen DeGeneres
  22. “Seasickness comes in two stages- in the first, you’re afraid you’re going to die, in the second, you’re afraid you’re not going to.”—Dave Barry
  23. “Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the option of drowning.”—Anita Loos
  24. “-Superman don’t need no seat belt. – Superman don’t need no airplane, either.” – Muhammad Ali and flight attendant
  25. “The ship is sinking. We must try and save it. Help me get it into the life boat.”—Spike Milligan
  26. “Riding a moped is like being on hairdryer. Dogs are walking faster than you’re going.”- Eddie Izzard
  27. “Doctors have a name for motorcyclists: organ donnors”—Cheryl Atkin
  28. “What’s fastest car in the world? A rental car.”—P.J.O’Rourke
  29. “Whenever I rent a car, in order to cut down on the mileage rate, I reverse everywhere.” — Woody Allen
  30. “A motorist is a person who, after seeing a serious wreck, drives carefully for several blocks.”—Jane Pickens
  31. “Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”—Robert Paul
  32. “I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said, ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster. Go for it.’”—Tommy Cooper
  33. “I think all cars should have car phones in them and their license plates should be their phone number so you can call them up and tell them to get the hell out of the way.”—John Mendoza