“Motivational” Transportation Quotes: 33 Inspiring and Funny Quotes to Boost Your Drive!

• Redefining Supply Chain Transportation

People have been drawn to “Motivational Quote” since the emergence of social media because it provides them with an instant boost of confidence that can be found in a few straightforward words of knowledge. I felt I should post something inspirational during this holiday and festive season. I therefore made the decision to look up quotes about transportation.

I recently began reading Rosemarie Jarski’s book “The Funniest Thing You Never Said,” and I came across some extremely amusing transport quotations that I would like to share with you in the hopes that they may make you smile as you shortly celebrate Christmas dinner with your family.

 

Want some quick travel quotes? Need a fast boost of inspiration? You’ll definitely discover it here.

 

• “Robinson’s Law: the guy you beat out of a prime parking space is the one you have to see for the job interview.”– Cal Robinson

 

• “The Slowest drivers in the world are those people who are getting out of the parking space you want to get into.”– Miles Kington

 

• “Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anybody going fast than you is a maniac.”– George Carlin

 

• “Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on the windscreen, it said, ‘Parking Fine’.”– Tommy Cooper

 

• “Save money on expensive personalized car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate.”– STG 400H

 

• “When I get real bored, I to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.”– Steven Wright

 

• “The quickest way to make a red light turn green is to try to find something in the glove compartment” – Billy Connolly

 

 

• “Finding a parking space is like going to a prostitute: why pay for one when if you apply yourself you get it for free?” – George Costanza, Seinfeld

 

• “I was pulled over by a cop for running a stop sign. He said, ‘Didn’t you see the stop sign?’ I said, ‘Sure, but I don’t belive everything I read?’” – Steven Wright

 

• “I heard most accidents happen within five miles of home, so I’ve moved ten miles away.”—Jenny Abrams

 

• “Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to ‘fast wipe’ whenever you leave your car parked illegally.”—Top tip, Viz

 

• “A friend of mine was so fed up with the train delays and cancellations that he threw himself onto the track. Died of exposure”—Jack Dee

 

• “Wouldn’t it be nice if the wattage of a car stereo could not exceed the IQ of the driver”—Anon

 

• “A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you’re looking for a used car”—Jay Leno

 

• “The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before.”—G.K. Chesterton

 

• “I’ve call my car Flattery because it gets me nowhere.”—Henny Youngman

 

• “I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity.”- Steven Wright

 

• “What do I think of Volkswagens? I’ve been in bigger women”—Harry Kurnitz

 

• “My garage’s mottos seem to be, ‘If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.’”—Jerry Seinfeld

 

• “My wife came home and said she had some good news and some bad news about the car. I said, ‘What’s the good news? She said, ‘The airbag works.’—Roy Chubby Brown

 

• “Experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me feel any less frightened of flying. If anything, it make me more afraid of crossing the street.”—Ellen DeGeneres

 

• “Seasickness comes in two stages- in the first, you’re afraid you’re going to die, in the second, you’re afraid you’re not going to.”—Dave Barry

 

• “Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the option of drowning.”—Anita Loos

 

• “-Superman don’t need no seat belt. – Superman don’t need no airplane, either.” – Muhammad Ali and flight attendant

 

• “The ship is sinking. We must try and save it. Help me get it into the life boat.”—Spike Milligan

 

• “Riding a moped is like being on hairdryer. Dogs are walking faster than you’re going.”- Eddie Izzard

 

• “Doctors have a name for motorcyclists: organ donnors”—Cheryl Atkin

 

• “What’s fastest car in the world? A rental car.”—P.J.O’Rourke

 

• “Whenever I rent a car, in order to cut down on the mileage rate, I reverse everywhere.” — Woody Allen

 

• “A motorist is a person who, after seeing a serious wreck, drives carefully for several blocks.”—Jane Pickens

 

• “Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”—Robert Paul

 

• “I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said, ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster. Go for it.’”—Tommy Cooper

 

• “I think all cars should have car phones in them and their license plates should be their phone number so you can call them up and tell them to get the hell out of the way.”—John Mendoza

 

I hope you enjoy this collection of quotes about transportation.